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About Me (Being Invisible)
The Ateneo de Davao University gazebo where students make their assignments and stuff, chat, reflection (if any) or just man and gal hunting.
Last
month, some friends introduce me to another friend. Honestly, I feel
uncomfortable when a situation like this comes up. I'm a very shy type of
person. I may not shy in crowd but very shy in personal level. But I do relate
well once I have made friends, making them laugh, spent a lot of money to them,
share some problems only in rarity. I'm individualistic type of person, I don't
know why but I do feel a lot of freedom when I'm alone, I feel powerful, I can
do whatever what I want without considering others. Maybe that's a selfish kind
of thinking but I like it a lot when I'm alone. By the way, I'm Victor, 21 year
old college guy of Ateneo de Davao University in Mindanao Philippines. My
hometown is in Polomolok, South Cotabato and I'm taking up Industrial
Engineering. I'll be graduating soon next year in March. My parents are very
supportive of me, they do take an effort to send me to school. Sometimes I felt
guilty when I cut classes because of my boring teacher. Well, there'll be one
more year to take a full responsibility of myself and I'll be out into the real
world. Maybe you are wondering what's that being invisible in the title? Last
year we have our retreat (the university is a religious school and hold annual
retreats for our last two years stay in school). While sharing in front of our
classmates our ideas, what we feel, & sentiments in one of our session, out of
my mind, I bluntly said that I want to be invisible, that everybody would
wouldn't give me some attention like praising or flattering me, or noticing
something about me cause I feel really uncomfortable ( I don't know why).
Ironically, what happened was the reverse. The next day they kept teasing me as
invisible man. But its ok. I just keep smiling with a sweat in my forehead.
Although I am not shy with my classmates (I love the company of them), I still
don't like them to treat me that way. My classmates were one of the most
beautiful thing that happened to me in my college years. They make me laugh,
sober :), cry, bend rules and break boundaries and limitations. Some were bad
and some good. But all of these, no one I find compatible with my way of
thinking and taste. They say I'm weird sometimes, that's why I'm still all alone
myself with no one to share some of my thoughts and feelings.
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When I
graduate, I would do my best to be a good citizen in this country as well as
the country would do their best for me and for other citizen. I am hoping
also that I can obtain a good job, even if its not high paying, as long as I
love the job and would not cause me deterioration in my everyday life as
what I had seen to others. I believe that I'm a good student its just that I
lack discipline and could easily mess up the good times with my studies. And
that's my weakness. I could easily bite to what is soothing to my senses.
But thanks God, nothing bad ever happened to me. |
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My Top Ten ...
TV
Series:
Countries I badly want
to visit
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When I was a
child, my mother and yaya (nanny) never forget a day to let me drink my
vitamins and food supplement. I don't know why they do that because I'm
healthy. I feel like a sick child when they let me take those bitter and ill
taste supplements. But it work on me and before I enter the kindergarten,
I'm a bloated child. I have a lot of appetite and even my hyper activeness
won't work on my body. I remember when I was in my grade school, I'm always
out of home to play with my childhood friends. Of course I get a lot tease
from other kid. They will chorus out loud "tambok" (fat person) repeatedly,
but soon all of the teasing will die down because I will act as a bully
because of my huge size. Honestly, I'm not really a bully, just pretending.
I can't imagine my father's belt will land on me when I got into a fight. I
have a brother and a sister. A sister, Remedios, whom I share my interests because we
have a lot of common in terms of what makes us happy like music sports, TV
shows, movies and of course, food. She's a little chubby. She's boyish when
we were young. My brother, John Paul, which I hate almost of the time because of bad
attitude. He always seeks any wrong in me and tell my parents all about it
(sip-sip), in which in turn, he gets the praises. Or do anything just to
make me angry. That's he's role in my life, to make me angry. But my anger
is not not that deep, oftentimes I ignore him and also we get all well at
other times. Through him, I have discover in myself that I can't sustain
anger more than an hour. My face will start to relax during that time, and
poof!! like a magic, it seems that nothing had happened to whomever that
makes me angry. And I'll be feeling sorry for myself for creating that
feeling in my heart. And I'm glad that this apply to everyone. I don't know
a person that I have angered for a long time in my life. But sometimes, i
wish also that I can hold on more to my anger so that I can straight things
out and have the power and will to confront that person. Well maybe that's
my weakness also, being not able to confront person when they do anything
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